more holidays on Mars

The planet’s six largest cities are home to the six intergalactic headquarters of SCUM and members of the Men’s Auxiliary can be found in bars and libraries and squats around the globe; broadcasting their mantra on street corners; on rooftops; in cafés and over radio. “…I AM A TURD. A LOWLY ABJECT TURD…”

I’m thirsty for her visions. I took a trip to Mars just a couple of years ago, I spent a month there somewhere but I don’t have a single memory of the experience. I vaguely remember walking into a spaceport just outside of Tokyo City, the cold recycled air and a constant chatter of passengers and well wishers. I remember that the intercom…

“FLIGHT NUMBER 999 FOR MARS CENTRAL BOARDING AT GATE 24 NOW. ECONOMY PASSENGERS PLEASE REMEMBER TO CHECK IN ALL WEAPONS, VALUABLES AND PHARMACEUTICALS AT THE APPROPRIATE SERVICE DESK BEFORE BOARDING THE PLANE. THEY WILL BE STORED IN FIRST CLASS FOR THE DURATION OF THE TRIP.”

…is the last thing that I remember.

And then I am handing over my credit-card to the lovely (and busty) cyborg secretary in Dr Kroners surgery. Kroner runs a side business creating sufferers of memory loss. Unpleasant experiences are quickly and painlessly removed with a remarkable combination of psychoactive medication, nanotechnology and hypnotherapy. I’m quite sure that I took a trip to Mars, but really only to the extent that I remember selling the memory of my trip afterwards.